Honouring Love and Loss: A War Widow’s Reflections

“My name is Grace Lane, and I was married to Harold Vincent Lane, a remarkable man whose life was shaped by both his service during World War II and his passion for art. We met at a party in 1970. I was drawn to his warmth, charm, and his endless stories, and from there, our connection grew. We shared 42 wonderful years together before Harold passed away 12 years ago.

Before we met, Harold had already lived an extraordinary life. He was only 16 when he joined the Merchant Navy during World War II, as he was too young to enlist in the regular Navy. His time in the Merchant Navy took him to some of the most dangerous waters during the war. He served around New Guinea, often on troop carriers and supply ships. One of his early assignments was on the ship Gorgon, which transported troops and supplies to the Allied armies.

Harold was also part of the American Small Ships Service, where he spent two years navigating the waters of New Guinea on an auxiliary tanker that refuelled landing barges. Life at sea wasn’t easy – he often spoke of the rough conditions and the constant threat of enemy attacks. One day, as his ship was returning to the port of Brisbane, a nearby vessel was torpedoed by the Japanese. It was a dangerous situation, but Harold’s courage and calmness in the face of fear always amazed me.

After the war, Harold’s love for art led him to Sydney, where he studied at night at East Sydney Technical College while working during the day on the wharves. His time at sea had given him a deep appreciation for nature, and it showed in his paintings. His representational landscapes were loved by many, and he exhibited his works in galleries across Australia and even overseas. He always said that a painter is never finished learning, and that philosophy guided his entire life, both in his art and in how he approached the world.

Despite his success as an artist, Harold remained humble. He often entertained friends with his stories, many of which were about his time in the Merchant Navy. He had a tenor voice, too, which took him on stage with the NSW Light Opera Company in Sydney, performing in productions like ‘Die Fledermaus’ and ‘The Student Prince’. He was a man of many talents, and I feel so fortunate to have shared my life with him.

When Harold passed away, it was one of the hardest moments of my life. I received a call from the hospital, and my daughter came to stay with me. Her presence was a great comfort during those difficult days. It’s hard to describe the depth of that loss, but having support from family makes a world of difference.

Even after all these years, I still miss Harold so much. There are so many times I’ll see something and think, “Oh, Harold would love that,” or I’ll read something and I just want to turn to him and say, “Harold, check this out!” But then I remember, I can’t do that anymore. Even after 12 years, it still hits me sometimes that he’s gone, and I can’t share those little moments with him anymore.

Being a war widow is an important part of my identity, and I feel fortunate to have the Gold Card because of Harold’s service. The card provides financial and medical support, but the emotional journey of losing someone who has given so much for their country is something that never truly leaves you.

I believe it’s crucial to have a day like War Widows Day, to honour not just the sacrifices made by those who served, but also the sacrifices of those left behind. We widows carry the memories and legacies of our husbands, and it means so much to have that recognised.” – Grace Lane, RSL LifeCare resident